Divorce Essays (870 words) - Family Law, Divorce, No-fault Divorce

Divorce Divorce is a problem! Not only for the children and families living through one?or two or three, But for the people growing up in America. The problem is that the message being sent, through Americas increase in divorce rates, is that it is O.K. to make a mistake (which is true for most cases). But when it comes to marriage people should not wait until they are married to realize that mistake. The main reason for this misconception and increase in divorces has a lot to do with the laws, and the changes made to them. If you look back thirty years ago you would see that every state had a Fault based system of divorce. Which basically means you could only get divorced on grounds of adultery, physical abuse, mental cruelty, desertion, imprisonment, alcohol & drug addiction or insanity (which are all very good reasons to get divorced). You would also see that every state had a much lower divorce rate. But in 1969 when James Hayes of California drafted the No-Fault divorce law, which was then signed into law by Gov. Ronald Reagan. Five years later 45 states did the same, and by 1985 every state had either switched to the No-Fault law or changed their existing laws in some way. The result was a 250% increase in divorce rates from 1960 to 1980 (according to a fifty state survey conducted by the Journal of Marriage and the Family). Also, younger people in the U.S. who are marrying for the first time face roughly a 40-50% chance of divorcing in their lifetime under current trends (U.S. Bureau of the Censu s, 1992, P.5). And of those marriages that end in divorce, many will end in the first 3 to 5 years (U.S. Bureau of the Census, 1992, P.4). Although much of this increase is to blame on the divorce laws themselves the media plays a big part to, especially with the increasing amount of people who own and watch T.V. I mean that when adults and children see movie stars, sports players and wealthy people, whom most children see as role models, going through large publicized divorces, it sends a message that it's O.K. to divorce. For example, when the famous Donald Trump got divorced or when Dennis Rodman & Carmen Electra got drunk one Saturday night in Las Vegas and decided to have a quick secret wedding, but eventually sobered up and got a divorce. Then there's the more recent Who Wants To Marry A Multi-Millionaire. Where it took Darva Conger 48 hours to realize that she used to have good family values and that she made a huge mistake. But it seems she lost them values again once she was offered (and accepted) $400,000 dollars to pose nude for Playboy's upcoming issue. All these are just some of the media's ways of portrayi ng a divorce happy society. Although divorce is generally not a good thing, it is necessary for many situations. If there is an abusive relationship or a parent has been sent to prison, exc. But that doesn't mean that if you get in a fight with your spouse, that you should get a divorce. Marriage is supposed to be taken seriously, so if you have a SERIOUS problem then divorce is necessary. The main problem with divorce is that whom it affects the most is the ones who truly have to live with it, the children. Although many studies have shown that children in divorced families have more difficulty in school, more behavior problems, more negative self-images, more problems with peers and more trouble getting along with their parents. This does not mean that all children in divorced families are worse off than all children in intact families. Also, the difference's between children in different types of families is less important than what causes these differences. The main cause of these differences has to do with the loss of a parent, economical losses, and more life stress from changes in children's living situations, like changing schools, child care, homes, etc. The best way to lower divorce rates is to make it harder to get a divorce, by getting rid of the No-Fault divorce law. That way people will be

A New World Not So Far Away Essays - Boston Theater District

A New World Not So Far Away Essays - Boston Theater District A New World Not So Far Away A New World Not So Far Away There are a lot of differences between the American and Chinese culture and values. Aspects such as philosophy, family values, time management, individuality, and religion are just some modern examples of the many differences between these two major industrial countries. However, one does not have to come from China to experience just how different and influential these cultures are. Throughout most of my childhood, I have been predominantly exposed to nothing but the Chinese culture. When my parents first immigrated to the United States from Canton, China, they rented a small apartment located right in the heart of Chinatown. Chinatown was my home, the place where I met all my friends, and the place where Id thought Id never leave. I spoke only Cantonese, both to my friends and to my parents. I was pretty much secluded from the outside world because I never left Chinatown, for I felt this was my home. However, my parents felt differently. They wanted me to adapt the American culture. By being more Americanized, they felt that life would be better and that my sister and I would be more accepted. For that reason, my family and I made the big move to the Sunset District ten years ago. A big move my parents hoped would be a quick assimilation into the mainstream the American culture- an assimilation that would ultimately change my values and my perceptions of my cultural background. When I moved from Chinatown to the Sunset District, I was completely amazed at how different it was compared to Chinatown. There was considerably less traffic and noise on the streets than in Chinatown. I remember, I would have to push my way to get through streets when I was in Chinatown. Another difference that I noticed was that all the children on my block were Caucasian, whereas in Chinatown I associated with predominantly Asian.. My home in Chinatown was an old Victorian apartment with a ceiling that was at least 15 feet high. I used to string my toy plane from the ceiling and let it fly circles propelled by a mini-fan attached to the back of the plane. It was a thrill to see the plane fly enormous circles. An old radiator located in the living room heated the apartment every winter. On cold winter nights, our family would gather inside that one warm room, since it was the only heated room, and just sit there with our blankets doing our daily chores and studies. My new home is quite modern, has central heating, and a much lower ceiling. This place was definitely different. How would I fit in? When I arrived at my new home, I was quickly plunged into the process of assimilation. My parents enrolled me into St. Annes, a Catholic school that consisted mostly of Caucasian. Although I am a quick learner, it was especially hard for me because I had to learn English. I did whatever I could to blend in. I bought cafeteria food and ate American lunches like bologna sandwiches and peanut butter and jelly. Most of my friends were Caucasian, and I joined clubs associated with Caucasians. I tried hard to fit in so that I would be accepted. I did whatever my friends did. I begged my parents to buy me trendy clothing and designer labels. The haircut I had was also very similar to that of my friends. I spoke like them and adopted their ways. I wanted no longer to be Asian. I hated that part of me. I just wanted to be American. I hoped that by doing everything they did and following their ways, I would be accepted despite the fact that I wasnt white. It was not until fifth grade that I began to grow more aware of my changed behavior. A new student, Bradford Chin, was enrolled into my class. Bradford reminded me of myself when I first came- conservative, traditional, and very studious. Not knowing any better, I felt somewhat embarrassed around him. I believed that his appearance would be a reminder to everyone of the person I was before. Because of this I ignored and avoided him as often as I could. One day, I was eating lunch with my friends and I glanced over

Father and Son Relationships Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words

Father and Son Relationships - Essay Example Psychologists argue that a good coach introduces specific skills at certain period, for example they say an athlete boy’s skill windows reside between the age of nine to twelve (9-12) because it is during this time that the boy’s body is developing the required enzymes and hormones. It is argued that if speed is not trained at this appropriate skills window then the child will never be in position to run as fast as they could as they grow to adulthood (Thompson 34). Basing on this argument, it is clear that for boys to learn their male roles, get role models and grow up to adulthood without social troubles, then they require closer mentorship from their father, coaches and teachers. According to Dr. David Popenoe, who is a sociologist, the involvement of father to bring up a boy child bring positive benefit to the child that no other person is as likely to convey. In this respect we cannot underestimate the father role in child outcomes, including cognitive ability, soc ial behaviour, psychological well-being and achievement in education. Young boys who have a caring father have better educational outcome, psychologists argue that such boys have higher IQs with good linguistic and cognitive capacities (Popenoe 56). Boys brought up by involved fathers at most begin going to school with better level of academic readiness and are said to be more patient with abilities to handle stress and frustration connected to schooling more readily as compared to those children with less involved fathers or coaches ( Pruett 41). According to (Goldstine 19), this father’s influence in academic achievement is carried by the boys into adolescence and young adulthood, hence making them take up male roles and avoid some troubles like drug abuse and unnecessary sexual activities. The young boys whose fathers is involving are better placed to be emotionally secure, always confident to explore their surroundings and in that process they grow older having good socia l links with peers. The probability of such boys getting into trouble at home, school or in the neighbourhood is minimal. (Lamb 42) Such boys are more sociable and popular among others. The coaches, teachers and at most father’s day to day interaction with young boys learn how to regulate their feelings and behaviour, they can study how to deal with their aggressive impulses and physical contact devoid of losing control of their emotion (Parke 109). Independence is an important virtue to any man. However, most men lack it and that is why they are always in trouble with their peers, teachers, employees among others. It is important to argue that since fathers often push for achievement, a child brought up with full involvement of a father coaches or teacher will grow up more comfortable as he explore the world around him and more likely to exhibit self- control and pro-social conduct hence independence. Most adult men in the world today are dying of depression; this has a dire ct link to father-child relationship. Psychological research has shown that young boys who grow up with close attachment to the father or coach are less likely to experience depression, exhibit disruptive behaviour, lie, instead will exhibit pro-social behaviour therefore they will avoid drugs, violence and other